I'm happy today. It looks like I might not go out today, as I had hoped, but I'm still happy.
I quit my paper route, but I'm still happy. I think the key is the love of Allah. Islam, and life in general, can seem like an ubearable burden of rules, expectations, and duties; religion begins to become a negative inducement, via the fear of punishment in the next life. The secret to overcoming doubts, disillusionment, and despair is to make religion a positive inducement. And this inducement is the love of Allah and of His creation, a love which persists in spite of doubt and in spite of the aspersions of others both within and without your religious community. I may have doubts about this or that doctrine, but I still love Allah, I still love to pray, I still love my fellow creatures; I still love being a Muslim. And that's infinitely more importmant then this or that interpretation of this or that hadith (or whether said hadith is sound or doubtful). It is crucial to avoid the legalism that is so deadly to the spirit of religion: legalism entails misery, both in one's inner life and in one's dealing with others. So.... I may doubt, but even while doubting I love- my intellect is not fettered by my heart, my heart is not made leaden by my intellect. Oh... and you-know-who: I'll check back around 4:00- if you still want to do something, AIM me or e-mail me; we'll work something out. If not, go in peace and know that I'm happy that you're happy; we'll hang some other time.